


The Snake that Guards the Bookshop

by InfiniteTeal



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Cute, Gen, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut, and The Them thinks its a game, and some fluff, crowley guards the book store, honestly just for fun, theres a little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 07:36:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19883980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteTeal/pseuds/InfiniteTeal
Summary: A.Z. Fell & Co. experiences a break in. The owner is very well capable of making sure no one steals again, but he decides that a guard snake would be more productive. Crowley doesn't say no. The Them joins him unexpectedly, more to play around, because the bookshop is their kingdom and they need to protect it, so the Antichrist says.





	The Snake that Guards the Bookshop

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Usually the bookstore was never open, and if it was it was at ungodly hours just to not have people come in. The note that explained the hours was posted at the front door and it was just so complicated. Scholars and students would find themselves wanting to fight with the old man that ran the shop because there's no other bookstore that would carry the book they needed, but what made them think A.Z. Fell & Co. would? 

Aziraphale never let anyone buy anything.

There were days he wouldn't let anyone in. The phone would ring and he would say they were closed -as if it was opened that day. It would be a Tuesday at ten in the morning. What bookshop is closed then? It wasn't even a holiday. It was supposed to be open, but Aziraphale was "gone" that day.

Someone was tired of it, not able to get a book they've been looking around for. Apparently it was at A.Z. Fell and & Co. but the bookshop owner wouldn't let them have it. They were angry. All they wanted was the book, not to burn the bookshop or ransack the place, why couldn't they buy what they wanted? They were going to give a high price for it, too. So when Aziraphale wouldn't sell it, this person resorted to a sinful act.

Stealing.

The glass was shattered, a few rocks on the floor, and multiple books taken. Aziraphale was only gone for fifteen minutes and in that time someone managed to steal some rare books.

After that he didn't know what to do. Giving people what they want definitely was not an option at all. But if one person broke in and stole what they wanted, what would stop others from doing the same? There were quite a few people who thought about doing it before. All it takes is just one leader of the pack to start it. 

Aziraphale _could_ stop them, but he thought of another idea.

That's what led to the guard dog...well, it was metaphorical because what he actually had was a guard snake. 

At night it slithered around the tables and bookcases. It hissed in the silence as it made a mess of a few books when it got on the shelves. It took a while to get up there though it was particularly crafty. There was nothing else to do except mingle with books. 

The snake was thick and long, a size that would make people who have no fears do a double take. And those who were afraid of snakes, may God bless them because they will never be able to steal a book from this bookshop.

Aziraphale wasn't here.

The black snake was the only thing in the bookshop. The lights were off, the doors locked, everything closed.

It was quiet.

Until a book fell.

The snake was trying to get comfortable on a bookshelf where it had a good view of the door, but a few more books fell as it tried to fit inside. This wasn't comfortable at all. It might as well stay where it belongs on the floor, that's where it will have an advantage if an intruder does make their way in. 

So it found its way down to the floor again, slowly, fluidly. It was curving around the mess of books on the floor, unapologetic of what it did.

Though, it stopped for a moment to contemplate.

No. It wasn't sorry.

It hissed again before continuing to glide around.

When was Aziraphale coming back? He wasn't gone long, but it was long enough that he thought he needed someone to stop a burglary if it was going to happen tonight. He didn't need another mess. He certainly didn't need a few books to go missing again. Surely, the person who did it learned their lesson already. And if others wanted to find out what they could be dealing with, they could try it, too. But Aziraphale wasn't scared to leave just because of the snake that was guarding it while he was gone.

Crowley couldn't tell Aziraphale no. He had other things to do, other things to take credit for -of course he didn't do those things- and he thought staying in a book shop at midnight was a waste of time.

But it was for Aziraphale so he didn't care.

Crowley was the guard snake.

He'd kill anyone that would touch something that doesn't belong to them. He had amusement in the idea of wrapping around someone and suffocating them. Just imagine that headline. A book thief killed at a book store that was barely ever opened by a black snake. That's something to read, that's for sure.

Hell would like that.

The nob on the door started to rattle a bit, turning slightly but not all the way. Someone was trying to get inside. The snake didn't stop moving, in fact, it continued around the tables as the door knob rattled again.

It was locked.

And then suddenly...it wasn't.

The door opened.

There were footsteps, multiple. A few people had walked in, rather small in size. They whispered quietly, one of them closing the door as the others continued to walk around. There was a small light traveling with the footsteps, and then the light appeared on the bookshelves, on the walls, up on the ceiling, all around. It wasn't enough to see the whole place. 

"Adam?" One of them asked in a whisper. "What are we doing here?"

The Antichrist was here. Now that was definitely the bodyguard to have.

"The bookshop was broken into the other day." Adam said, not seeing the point of whispering, so he didn't. It was just them there. "We have to protect it."

His friends weren't so keen on the idea. They didn't groan, but they weren't happy. Pepper, Brian, and Wensleydale weren't sure if it was a good idea to be here, considering that they just broke in as well. What were children doing out at this hour? They should've been home and in bed. Then again, with the things they've gone through, they didn't have to do anything or be anywhere.

"But it so late-" Brian wanted to go to sleep, rightfully so since it was late.

Pepper didn't think the time of night was only the issue. She shouldn't be this far from home, and it wasn't a good idea to break into a bookshop at this hour. "And _I'm_ going to get in trouble. If my mom knew I was here, there'd be no end to it-"

"It's our kingdom." Adam pointed the flashlight to his dog that was standing beside him at his feet, wagging his tail. Dog was interested in being here, only because Adam wanted him here. "Would you want someone invading your land?" It was a good idea for a game.

Adam had heard about the bookshop being broken into. Here he thought he could do something about it. He brought his friends, too. He was going to need them if he was going to be successful. 

The Them can protect the store.

"Pepper, you guard the East." He pointed towards the windows, and she looked. "It's a lot to cover but you should be able to handle it."

It didn't seem that hard.

"Wensley, take the North." He gestured to the door, pointing the flashlight towards it. "You'll be on the front lines. And Brian, you're to the West. I'll protect the South and anyone who slips by."

It seemed like a childish game really. Just playing around in a book store? What if someone actually broke in? What if someone actually wanted to steal something? What were four kids going to do?

"Are we _really_ going to fend off robbers?" Wensley asked, not necessarily scared, but he didn't believe anyone would want to steal something from here.

What's so great about books anyway? They were all old and stuffy. 

"It'll be fun. It's like practice before actually ruling the world." That was going to happen at some point, they might as well be ready to handle it. 

"It's just a bookstore, Adam." Pepper didn't seem that convinced. She picked up a book off of the floor and put it on the shelf.

There was a sound she heard as she pushed the book into the shelf with the others. She slightly turned to the quiet hiss in the dark. Adam was saying something but she wasn't listening because of the sound. Maybe it's coming from outside. Though, she was sure she heard a hiss nearby.

Maybe from around this book case.

"Hey..."

"Did you hear that?" Brian had stepped closer to Pepper, because there was a hissing noise that bothered him, too.

The dog began whining quietly, getting closer to Adam's leg. When protected, it began growling. There was something in the darkness and it was getting closer. Whatever it was hissed again, and it was much louder than before, like it was closer. 

Adam lowered his arm when he turned around, shining the light on the black snake that was getting closer to the group of children. The bright light was what made it rise up, like it was about to strike, showing the red scales to its underside. It hissed again, it's tongue sticking out.

Three voices screamed at the sight of the large snake. This wasn't why they were here. They didn't want to play with a snake, and it didn't seem that friendly with the way it hissed again, opening it's mouth. If it so much as moves, three of the four children might take off. The only reason they didn't run was because Adam didn't, but they did stagger back from the fear. The snake hadn't moved yet. It was just watching them.

Adam didn't move either. 

He had a plain expression on his face as he looked at the snake coming towards him now. The dog was whining and snapping but that didn't stop the reptile from making it's way towards them. The snake hissed, it's tongue coming out just like before, but Adam didn't find it threatening. He almost found it to be friendly. His friends would say otherwise. They inched back slightly, a few more shrieks from their mouths when the snake moved around Adam's feet, the dog finally moving a few small paces away, especially when the snake hissed more aggressively.

Adam wasn't that frightened. He picked up the black snake with one hand, holding it at about half it's length. Immediately upon being lifted up, the snake began to wrap around Adam's arm, the grip on it was loose now and it could get comfortable on Adam's shoulders.

It was a rather large snake. The boy had to extend his arms a little. The black reptile wrapped around him, and it almost looked like it belonged there, curled around him.

The Antichrist with his demon dog at his feet, and a demon snake draped over him.

His friends were staring. "It's just a snake." He said, lifting one arm higher as it's head rested on his fingers.

"Your dad will never let you keep a pet snake." Pepper said as Adam held up the flashlight towards them. "At least, not one that size-"

"Looks like something a witch would keep-"

"Yeah, I bet-"

"I think my mom would let me get a snake, but I want a dog, that would be better-"

Adam listened while his friends talked. They went on about whose parents would let them keep the snake and whose wouldn't. They picked up books as they went at it, too, and Adam watched them.

There was something oddly familiar about the way Adam looked. The Them has gone through a lot, and they've seen things. This was no different. Adam was like a king who watched his close allies together before doing the job they're supposed to do. 

They were here for a reason.

They might as well guard the bookshop. 

No one was going to steal books from an angel's bookshop while the Antichrist was there with two demon animals and his friends.

* * *

Aziraphale came back that morning. 

He couldn't say he wasn't surprised to find four sleeping children laying on the floor in the back room. It didn't seem that comfortable. But it looked like they were completely worn out. Some random objects were on the floor, like they were playing with them. He couldn't imagine how they got inside, but then he realized, yet again, that Adam was the Antichrist and he could do whatever he wanted. 

Well, The Them were protecting the bookstore. Though they did make a mess.

But Aziraphale smiled to himself. It was nice of them to want to spend their night here doing a good dead. Looks like they had the night of their life with the way they were spread out on the floor sleeping. He was going to have to get some blankets. 

As he walked around, something hissed from under the chair. 

"Crowley?" Aziraphale whispered, then he looked down at the floor to see the snake coming towards him. 

Crowley can be very affectionate when he wanted to be. 

He wrapped around Aziraphale's leg and continued upwards around his body. "Don't mess up my coat..." Aziraphale said quietly, and the snake obliged obediently, moving inside his coat instead.

He was able to slip under the vest, and inside Aziraphale's buttoned up shirt. At some point he was going to mess up Aziraphale's clothes, but they can discuss that when they get to that point. 

Aziraphale didn't want to laugh, and although Crowley's scales were rough on his skin, it tickled. 

It was warm under Aziraphale's clothes, too. 

That was nice. 

Crowley might just settle here for a while if Aziraphale didn't mind. 

"Seems like you didn't do a good job last night." Aziraphale laughed quietly as he felt Crowley sliding up his chest. "How do you let the Antichrist into the bookshop?" he asked, and he could hear Crowley's response as if he were there, like "it's the Antichrist, what am I to do" cause honestly, what would Crowley do when faced with that issue? Definitely not stop the Antichrist, that was an easy solution. 

Aziraphale took off his bow tie and unbuttoned his shirt enough for the snake to poke through and get comfortable around his neck. It was a nice place to be.

Crowley was wrapped all around Aziraphale.

It was more for comfort.

He didn't want to talk about what happened last night, how three kids and the Antichrist thought guarding the shop was a game. Crowley was absolutely terrified.


End file.
